FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 2011
A GREAT RESPONSIBILITY
“As a moral community, a profession ‘is composed of people who … seek, through practical inquiry of their lives, both alone and together, to clarify and live up to what they mean by being a professional”. – Buchmann writes this on p. 539
As I sit here, exhausted, sleep deprived and living on sheer adrenaline, I find peace in the quiet hum of my laptop and a blank uncluttered page. A mini-epiphany seemed to reveal it’s self for me this afternoon about life that seems so hurried and chaotic, an insurmountable mountain, with a black abyss, with only the tiniest glimmer beckoning me along the trail. I am a student of teachers, and a teacher of students, yet what does that mean? For me it is like possessing a dual personality within this one body. It is at once like having one foot wanting to run through the forest in order to reach the mountaintop. Yet the other foot wanting to be still, longing for the opportunity to sit and reflect upon a journey that at times feels like it will consume me. It often feels like the top of my head has been peeled open, not unlike that of a water vessel, where those teachers of teachers pour the knowledge, at times so quickly it feels chaotic, the transfer reaching the flood stage where I fear it will overflow the banks.
Therefore, as I sit here reflecting tonight, I savor the opportunity for the momentary silence, it is as a sunbeam in the midst of a storm, reminding me that balance will soon be restored. This tiny respite, a tiny jewel that I covet, allows the swirling storm in my head to become calm, still, and for a moment, I can see my reflection in the still pond that flows gently and deep. It is here I can breathe, exhale, and momentarily feel free. Free of judgment, free of what I should think, what I should say, how I should ask, and what is okay to ask. There is no judgment, only me, a place where I can filter what makes sense and resonates with me, and what feels wrong and will not be a part of me. It is here, as student of teachers and teacher of students, I can also find, contemplate, and mull over those things that as student of teachers, remind of what it means to be mindful as a teacher of students.
My essential questions, the way I teach my class, the manner in which I interact with my students must come from authentic self. Yet as a student of teachers, I also know that a teacher of students must never forget how it feels to be a student. For me it is a risk to share, to convey my thoughts and words when prompted, only to have them harshly challenged and too quickly dismissed. The need for another to insist there must always be a black or white answer, rather than a differing perspective. These are the things that make me feel uncared for, unsafe, and unwilling to connect. They are also the things that tell me to be mindful of one’s words as a teacher of students, lest we are the one that causes those in our care to stop risking. Risks that are required to truly learn those things that stretch us, pull us out of our comfort, and into the great unknown. We must feel safe, respected, and that we belong, to be learners, humanitarians, and students of learning.
Why do I write this, at this time, at this moment….because I am finding, as I reflect, that there are those teachers of teachers that allow me to risk or alternatively to be unwilling to risk. The one who can in their own gentle, peaceful way, offer me the quiet reflection, a safe place to question and always take risks. Where differences are welcome and ‘depends’ is always the word because each student is unique. Then there are others, with chaotic lives, wildly impassioned, and with seemingly disordered thinking, that for students like me create chaos in an already chaotic life. Where passion drives their instruction to the point that their students fear risk, told their voices are without merit and unfounded opinion, failing to remember they do not know their students walks in life. That multiple perspectives should be celebrated, not used to humiliate, and berate. I must always remember this….for all voices have merit, all voices have reason, and while they are different it does not make them wrong.
I am finding each day, that Sir Robinson’s lectures, one from the 2006 Ted Conference and the second from the 2010 Ted Conference, resonate with me more each and every day as I walk my path toward becoming a teacher of students. Sir Robinson used W.B. Yeats’ poem, quoted below, in his closing remarks for the 2010 presentation. The last words he spoke, after reading the poem, were “And every day, everywhere, our children spread their dreams beneath our feet. And we should tread softly.”
“HAD I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Inwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.”
W.B. Yeats (1865–1939)”He Wishes For the Cloths of Heaven”
From the Collected Works of W.B. Yeats
As teacher’s we have great power, and with that power, must come great humility. Yes it is a hard job, there are a great many demands, sleepless nights, and obsessing over how we could have reached our students or known our students better. When we stop wondering, are no longer willing to give more than we possibly have left, or settle for complacency we not only do a disservice to ourselves and our profession, but to those small lives that are placed into our care. We are with them for a fleeting moment in their lives, yet those moments can light the ember that becomes their burning passion long after they have left our care.
This blog impressed me because it addresses the notion of risk in teaching. Blog's author says that it is a risk to share, to convey thoughts and words when prompted, only to have them harshly challenged and too quickly dismissed..." I would say that teachers should be able to stay in balance. That is a very strong position to be because you will be safe. You will know what can or cannot be said, you will see strengths and weaknesses in yourself and others, you will be able to observe yourself and your students from outside, without bias or prejudice, you will understand what it takes for your students to learn and grow. Being in balance doesn't mean an unwillingness to risk because taking risks is what makes you better and allows you to experiment and improve, to understand what is working and what not, what it takes for your next lesson to be better than the previous one. By this logic you might say that teachers strive for perfection which is a common flaw considering that many think that only God is perfect. Yet, more and more people thing that God is in each and every one of us, and yet, we are not perfect. Maybe this is the reason that many teachers are looking for perfection (whatever that may be) instead of just being in balance. If we could somehow keep in mind that each of our students is unique, that they are waiting for guidance and support to understand, learn, and grow into something better, we will be in balance.
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